A ways back, I was hanging out with some chemistry grad students at a Yale bar, so of course I had to tell them my favorite chemistry joke:
Heisenberg is carelessly speeding down the highway when he gets pulled over by a cop.Well, the grad students liked that one, and returned the favor with one of their own:
The cop walks up to the driver side window and asks him, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg responds: "No, but I know exactly where I was!"
A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "I lost an electron here last night, have you seen it?"
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Nope. Are you sure you lost it?"
The guy responds, "Dude, I'm positive!"